The reasons loving a survivor girl are worth it.
- Because so many of us have done years of therapy- and while we may have trauma we know how to take care of ourselves better than those who have not had similar difficulties or those who have never owned their scars.
- Because of this therapy we are often amazing communicators deploying non violent dialogue that is focused on compassion and hearing the needs of the other person we engage with. We also frequently own our feelings and are able to communicate those as well without blaming you for them. Having been blamed ourselves in abusive family dynamics we are likely to care very much about not doing it to you and tread softly.
- We know anger is important and natural. When we don't express it well we often can tell you that we know we are struggling with this. We can tell you that it does not have anything to do with you or something you have done.
- We are often very conscious of the things we learned from our families or other abuse experiences. And while we might have the occasional "flea" I promise you no one will work harder than a survivor to deal with an issue or to make the health of your relationship their primary priority.
- Because when you have experienced great pain and seen or experienced things at a trauma level it changes you. You value the goodness of the small beautiful miracles of life. And while so much of those experiences may have been dark we still most often turn our heads to the light like sunflowers and soak up that miracle sun and we are thankful to be alive. This makes us positive in surprising ways- yet we also know how to sit with you in the dark- and without any judgement and just be with you- because we have been there.
- We are easy to please (but we are not doormats)- again the small loving acts you do mean the world to us. We know we deserve your love and should never settle for scraps- but the small things you do to show you care feel so miraculous and wonderful to us.
- We have often lost a lot of things- including loved ones because of necessary boundaries. So if we keep you in our life we are often dedicated to working on a relationship with you because we know it's value and importance. Don't abuse our goodwill- but we will fight for the good things in our life including you.
To be continued....
I am a former country girl and abuse survivor. I enjoy blogging because I find it personally therapeutic. It also allows me to share my experiences with others, and bring to light issues of abuse. I write under a pseudonym for my personal safety as well as to negate any potential legal trouble over sharing my story.